Bexar County District Attorney Susan Reed has a message for those who may not feel the proper reverence for Texas monuments: “Don’t whizz on the Alamo.” Her press-release proclamation came on the occasion of a Feb. 4 guilty plea in San Antonio’s 399th District Court. Daniel Athens pleaded guilty to a felony charge for relieving himself on one of the Lone Star State’s most revered historical sites, according to Reed. Athens’ attorney, San Antonio solo Todd Coronado, did not immediately return a call seeking comment. “You don’t mess around with the Alamo. Nobody does, man,” Reed said in an interview. “I was pretty enraged when it happened.” Why is urinating on the Alamo such a big deal from a legal perspective? Chapter 28 of the Texas Penal Code makes it a state jail felony to deface a public monument or place of human burial. Reed said the defendant has yet to be sentenced and he faces a possible punishment range of 180 days to two years confinement in a state jail facility. Reed said her office has prosecuted others for daring to mark the Alamo with graffiti. And then there’s the legendary 1982 incident in which heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne urinated on a site near the Alamo and was banned from San Antonio until he made a large donation to the group that has preserved the historic site. “We take offense, absolutely,” Reed said. “And we have to preserve our heritage. It’s a shrine. It’s all about respect.”
The Georgia Hammer
Sledgehammers and fire? Lawyer Jim Adler “The Texas Hammer” has been doing that in advertisements for years. OK, maybe not quite in the way Georgia lawyer Jamie Casino did in an epic local ad during the Super Bowl. In that two-minute ad, Casino tells viewers why he transitioned from criminal-defense to personal injury law, complete with a metal guitar soundtrack, movie-quality special effects and a flaming sledgehammer. It really has to be seen to be believed. Casino did not return a call for comment about whether Adler served as his inspiration. Bruce Westbrook, a writer and editor for Adler’s website—which currently features a photo of Adler holding a sledgehammer while standing in front of a wall of fire—sees some similarity in Casino’s ad: “In effect, that was flattery if he was aware of Mr. Adler’s campaign and website.” Westbrook notes that Adler’s long-running TV ads have inspired others—most notably Austin filmmaker Mike Judge, who created a parody lawyer character named “Joe Adler” in his Beavis and Butt-Head cartoons and in his 2009 feature film “Extract.” “As far as the sledgehammer, anybody can do that,” Westbrook said. “But they can’t call themselves ‘The Texas Hammer’ because that’s trademarked.”
